


Welcome, Class of 2026!

by Instrumentalist



Category: 17776: What Football Will Look Like in the Future - Jon Bois
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Human, Gen, I Have Adopted These Space Probes, Self-Insert, They Are My Children Now
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-12
Updated: 2017-07-25
Packaged: 2018-12-01 05:50:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,664
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11479968
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Instrumentalist/pseuds/Instrumentalist
Summary: It took a little time, but eventually, Nathan, Thalia, and John found a good home to live in. With a few years of steady living under their belts, now it was time for something a little more challenging: surviving a new high school. What was waiting behind those double-doors?





	1. The Triumphant Return

**Author's Note:**

  * For [shcherbatskayas](https://archiveofourown.org/users/shcherbatskayas/gifts).



> I am unabashed 17776 trash and nobody will stop me.

.yo guys

.guys

.guysguysguysguysguysguysguysguys

.guess what guess what guess what guess what

.WHAT, Juice?

.THE STORE HAS LUNCHABLES AGAIN

.THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE

.Congratulations, Juice.

.Wait, seriously? Since when?

.since now apparently

.i'm gonna buy like 100 you guys want any

.No.

.good cause i'm not sharing you have to get your own

.Lucky you, I don't want any, so you can get them all to yourself.

.god damn i love lunchables

.you're just jealous aren't you ten

.Why would I be jealous?

.because i have something that loves me unconditionally

.If they really loved you they wouldn't've left you.

.THAT WAS THE STORE'S FAULT

.my lunchables will never betray me

.Hey John, I know Lunchables are great, but please make sure you use that money to buy the stuff on the list I gave you  
before you impulse-buy.

.you got it mom

.but i'm gettin about 500 lunchables

.I'm going to be taking a nap, kiddos, so if you need me I'll be in the basement, okay?

.Okay.

.Okay.

.sounds good

.And Thalia, Nathan, please, please finish your summer reading, okay?

.We will, Mom.

.Thank you.

.you guys haven't finished the summer reading yet

.So?

.it's easy

.And?

.i was done like a week ago

.Your point?

.i'm ahead of you

.It's a book, Juice. I didn't feel like reading.

.school's school, ten

.nine what's your excuse

.It's really dense...

.you just gotta let it

.like

.wash over you

.trust me this is the easy stuff

.i'm gonna get rekt in english this year

.okay nine you said you wanted pop-tarts but you didn't say what kind

.Um... S'mores, please.

.one 12-pack of smores pop-tarts

.and ten nice try but i will buy you tampons with pride

.Worth a shot.

.I do actually need them, though.

.no prob sis

.so whatre your schedules

.English II, Honors Chem, Honors Algebra II, Computer Science, Honors US History, free, Honors French III.

.damn sis, that's like four honors classes

.i only have three honors classes

.I don't have any honors classes.

.no pressure dude honors classes are fuckin hard

.He's right. Honors isn't all that great.

.I have English I, Physics, study hall, World History, Geometry, 2-D Art, and Spanish I.

.Hey, wait, Ten, you say you have a free period?

.Yeah. Freshmen have study hall instead of free.

.Oh.

.iirc you get free like a month before finals

.Yeah. It's not really that bad. You'll like it. It's quiet.

.Okay.

.Quiet is good.

.um ten what aisle is detergent in

.The same aisle as the shower stuff.

.really

.thats weird

.guess it's like something to do with smelling nice

.Probably.

.i'm tellin you these places are real liminal spaces

.the lights make it i think

.no matter what time of day it is the lighting is always the same

.you could walk in at 4 am or 4 pm and you wouldnt even know the difference

.no windows either

.okay i've got everything on the list it's LUNCHABLES TIME

.You still have to BUY the stuff, dummy.

.Then you'll know how much money you can spend on Lunchables.

.some people have no idea how to have fun

* * *

.okay so i now have 12 packs of lunchables so i'm set for the first two weeks at least

.Congratulations, Juice.

.actually wait

.the first two weeks are outta whack, right

.like they're shorter

.Week 1 is three days, Week 2 is four.

.SWEET

.I'M SET FOR THREE WEEKS

.i'm lovin it

.back in 15 or so

.havin fun with your summer reading yet

.No...

.Like, it's interesting, but it's such a summer-reading book...

.i feel

.just blaze through it. skim

.If I skim, I'm not gonna understand it at all.

.Why do they always pick 'classics' for us to read?

.School mindset, I bet. We're not gonna be doing much pleasure-reading for homework.

.get mom to help

.I don't know...

.I'll come help you, Nine.

.Thanks.

.there goes the iss wheeeeeeeeee

.oh guys there's an eclipse august 17th

.we should go

.It's not passing over us, though?

.yeah we'll have to go to oregon but it's doable

.Mom won't like that...

.it's fuckin summer

.and she loves this shit

.i'll ask her when she wakes up

.Good luck.

.god damn i love my lunchables

.fuck ignore me i'm reading wrong dates it was in 2017

.Good going, Juice.


	2. Reference Reference Reference Reference Reference Reference Reference Reference Reference Reference

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Reference reference reference reference reference reference reference reference reference reference

.JUST ON THE BORDER

.OF YOUR WAKING MIND

.THERE LIES

.ANOTHER TIME

.WHERE DARKNESS

.AND LIGHT

.ARE ONE

.Juice what the fuck

.AND AS YOU TREAD THE HALLS OF SANITY

.YOU FEEL SO GLAD TO BE

.Juice what the FUCK

.UNABLE

TO GO BEYOND

.I HAVE A MESSAGE FROM ANOTHER TIME

.MOM WHAT THE FUCK

.*dewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww*

.ten do you seriously not get the reference

.Is that ELO?

.NINE WINS FOLKS

.What the everloving fuck Juice

.no appreciation for classic 80s rock

.inexcusable

.I have that album.

.Oh, you're kidding me.

.Is it that one that you always play in the garage?

.Yup.

.Dear god.

.i thought the 80s were your jam

.They are. Except the parts you've beaten to death.

.such anger today what gives

.You know how to push my buttons, what can I say?

.IT'S JUST ONE WAY (ON-LY ONE WAY)

.TIIIIIICKET TO THE MOOOOOOOOOON

.JUICE

.Okay, let's settle down a bit, kids.

.i have no regrets

.I have several.

.How about you three get out of your rooms and come get your breakfast I so lovingly made for you?

A sort of rumbling could be heard from the second floor as three pairs of feet thundered towards the stairs, interspersed with the sounds of passionate arguing:

_"Dibsdibsdibsdibsdibsdibsdibs—!"_

"You're not beating me this time!"

"Guys, slow down—!"

_"—bsdibsdibsdibsdibs—"_

"Watch it, Juice, you nearly stepped right on my foot!"

_"—d-d-d-d-d-d-d-diiiiiiiiibs! Dibsdibsdibs—"_

Juice reached the bottom of the stairs first, Ten hot on his heels. Nine trailed behind, more out of fear for their safety than anything else. Juice and Ten charged into the kitchen, cursing each other at the top of their lungs—  
and quickly skidded to a halt inches from their mother, who was holding two very large, very full plates of scrambled eggs and pancakes, and smirking like a Cheshire cat. "Such vivacity. Such vigour."

Juice and Ten backed up a bit. "Okay, but I won, right?" Juice asked.

"If you consider getting breakfast at the same time as your sister 'winning', then yes," she said, moving past them into the dining room.

Juice and Ten shared a look, then followed her out.

"Just so y'all are aware," she continued as she set down the plates on the table, "I'm gonna be busy all day, so you'll have to entertain yourselves until dinner."

"Not an issue with us," Juice said with a grin. "Born entertainers right here!"

"What's the weather like today?" asked Ten.

"Sunny. Painfully, awfully sunny," Mom answered. "Hot as hell, too, nearly 100 degrees, so you'll wanna stick to the shade or indoors. I'll leave you guys some spending money before I head downstairs."

"We could go to Boomers," Juice suggested to Ten and Nine.

"Or we could go bowling," Nine said.

"We haven't bowled in a while..." Ten said.

"If we go bowling, I'll rek you both," Juice said.

"Oh, really?" Ten challenged.

"1v1 me, Ten."

"I'll 1v1 you, m8. We'll fucking  _go."_

"Pass me some of that  _juice_ first, though."

Ten groaned, handing him the orange juice.

"Yessir," Juice continued, "fresh-picked, fresh-squeezed orange juice, just like Grandpa made."

"Still makes," Mom corrected. "He's got his orange tree in his neighbour's yard still."

"Who grows an orange tree in their neighbour's yard?"

"Only your mother's father," she said. "Only people with no backyard of their own."

"It's weird to think there's houses without backyards," Nine said, staring at their pancakes.

"That's what we get for building houses sandwiched between two roads," Mom said. "And also on steep hills. That's half the reason I moved back here."

"What's the other half?"

"Convenience," she said, taking a big bite of scrambled egg.

"One of the homes Nine and I lived in before here was right in the center of town," Ten said. "I remember it took only a 5-minute walk to get to school or the grocery store."

"Nice," Juice said. "This is my first home, so I don't really have anything to compare with."

"Well, Grandpa's house was the house I grew up in," Mom said. "And even by car it takes a minimum of five minutes just to reach the village. You wanna get to Oakland, you get a big ol' "Fuck you, 15 minutes any way you slice it". It wasn't fun getting down the hill on a bicycle."

"Yikes," Ten said. "That must've been tough."

"Yeah. We got an electric bike when I was 15, but even that sucked on the hill. Going up is a nightmare."

"Wait, I thought you said Grandma and Grandpa sold that house," Nine said.

"They did," Mom nodded. "He's still in the area."

"Then how is your old neighbour still his neighbour?"

"I guess he's not. I just still think of him as a neighbour."

"Oh."

"So what you're saying is that you're obsessed with this place," Juice said.

"You got me," she said blithely.

* * *

 

.okay folks

so

.what're we gonna do today

.I say bowling.

.I want to go bowling too.

.bowling it is

.prepare to get rekt mfers

.I will dominate your ass, Juice. Just you wait.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-Bowling.


	3. The Perfect. Machine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Perfect. Machine.

"Alright, nerds," Juice said as they walked to their lane. "Prepare to have your asses kicked."

"The only person whose ass is getting kicked is yours, Juice," Ten said. "I've been perfecting my game since the last time."

"That's a pretty low bar to set, sis."

"You shut up," she said, poking him in the chest. "Nine, are you hungry?"

"Yeah," they nodded. "Pizza would be good."

"Okay." Ten swiveled back to Juice. "If I give you thirty bucks, will you buy a 14-inch pizza and a few slices of toast for us?"

"Why can't you get it yourself?"

"Because—" She looked away, biting her tongue. "You're closer. That means you have to get it."

"Oh my god, you're such a sissy," he laughed, ruffling her hair. "Employees don't bite, you know."

"I  _know,"_ she snapped, batting away his hand. "Can you just buy the food?"

"Magic word, sis?"

"Can you just buy the food,  _please?"_

He held out his hand, and she slammed down thirty dollars. "I'll be back in a few."

"Jesus H. Christ," she groaned as he sauntered away. "School can't start soon enough. I'm sick of him."

"That's the biggest problem with summer," Nine said. "Siblings are stuck under the same roof for three months."

"Right. And all the summer camps are over now." She sat down and started untying her shoes. "I mean, couldn't Berkeley Rep have their summer intensive last a little longer than just four weeks?"

"It wouldn't be as intensive then, I guess," Nine said.

"I guess not," she said. "But it would mean less Juice and more alone time."

"I dunno," Nine said. "I kinda prefer having him in the house. It makes it less quiet."

"I like the quiet," she sighed. "It makes it easier to think."

"I have too much time to think. I need noise to keep myself sane."

"Maybe next year I should do Berkeley Rep, then," she said. "That way I get time away from Juice and you get your background noise."

"Maybe."

Ten stood up, cracking her knuckles, and started setting up the game.

"I'd miss you, though. I like talking with you."

Ten looked back at Nine. "...I'd miss you too, Nine. You're really great to be around."

"Thanks."

"So, do you want to be first, or should I put myself first?"

"You can do whatever. I don't really care."

"Alrighty then. I'm first, you're second, Juice is third." She put on her bowling shoes, and grabbed her ball out of her bag. "I'm gonna dominate him, Nine."

"I know," Nine smiled.

"It's gonna happen."

"I know."

Juice stepped back down. "Aw, come on, sis, really? And I even bought the pizza!"

"Y'snooze, y'lose, Juice," Ten said, shrugging. "Sorry, I don't make the rules."

"You're gonna get so rekt, you little shit," Juice said with a devilish grin.

"Bring it on, cupcake."

"Oh, I'll bring it," he said, pulling out his bowling ball. "This motherfucker's gonna  _win."_

"We'll see," Ten sniffed, stepping up to the plate.

"I'm gonna wipe the floor with her, Nine," Juice hissed to Nine, eyes still on Ten.

"Did you get the toast too?"

"'Course I did, buddy. Anything for you."

"Thanks."

**_THUNK._ **

"Oh yes, that's gold, baby, that's gold!" Ten crowed.

"Bullshit, Ten, you didn't put on enough spin," said Juice.

"Yes I did, just you watch!"

"That's a gutterball, sis, plain and simple."

"Oh, I'm sorry, I can't hear you over the sound of this  _strike!"_

_**CRASH.** _

"HA! You call that a strike?!"

"..."

"Yeah, last I checked, a 7-10 split is  _not_ a strike."

Ten's face was smooth as she stepped back down. "Easy spare."

"Really?"

"Mm-hmm. I've done it plenty of times."

"What's your stats, then?"

"63% success rate."

"I dunno, sis, that's a 37% failure rate."

"You're not gonna psych me out on this one, Juice. I'm shooting for a high score this game."

"High score? You mean higher than 100?"

"Fuck you," she said, picking up her ball.

"She's gonna fuck it up," he said to Nine. "Betcha five bucks."

"I don't wanna bet," Nine said.

"Good call. You'd lose five bucks."

**_THUNK._ **

"Lookin' good!" Ten said.

"You've fucked it up!" Juice called back. "You're not gonna get either of those!"

"I know how to spin, Juice, this one's an easy spare!"

"Nuh-uh!"

_POW **POW.**_

"Ohhhhhhh!! Was I right, or was I  _right?!"_ Ten cheered. "You're going down today, Juice!"

"You fuckin' wait, Ten. I am gonna  _destroy_ you," Juice said.

* * *

 "Okay, but you  _have_ to admit, Chris Evans  _is_ pretty fuckin' hot. If hips don't lie, his pecs are the pinnacle of truth."

"Chris Evans is good-boy hot," Ten said. "Robert Downey Jr. is  _rugged_ hot."

"Nonono, Chris Evans is  _farmer's-market_ hot," Juice corrected. "See: Age of Ultron. That flannel shirt, with the rolled-up sleeves? Hoo! You have to bring a fan with you to get through that scene."

"Okay, I'll give you that one, he was pretty hot in that shirt. But Robert Downey Jr. has a more angular face. You get good  _shading_ with angles. Chris Evans is all sanded down. His face has no edges, and his body is all curves."

"He's pretty fucking strong, though. He could princess-carry me."

"Iron Man could princess-carry  _me."_

"Yeah, but what about m _GO NINE!_   _NICE!"_

"Nice job, Nine, nice job!"

"What do you think, Nine?" Juice asked as he stepped up to grab his ball. "Chris Evans or Robert Downey Jr.?"

"Um... I don't know."

"Okay, I'm asking Mom," Ten said.

"Mom'll say Downey Jr.!" Juice said.

.Hey Mom: Chris Evans vs. Robert Downey Jr.?

"We'll see," Ten said to Nine. "Nice strike up there."

"Thanks," Nine said. "I'm doing better than usual."

"You're doing amazing, as usual," Ten smiled, rubbing their shoulder lovingly.

"Juice is going pretty hard on this one."

"Motherfucker," she giggled quietly.

_**THUNK.** _

"Oh yes! That's a strike, that's a strike!"

"Like heck it is," Ten said to Nine. "Want more toast?"

"Please."

"You got it."

**_CRASH._ **

"Bada- _boom!_ I fucking told you, Ten, I fucking told you!"

.MMMMM I have to go with Robert Downey Jr.

.Even if he is a Republican.

"Mom says Downey Jr."

"And I told you that too!"

Ten sighed, handing Nine their toast. "But that means unless Nine chooses Chris Evans, you've lost!"

"I won't lose! I can't lose!" Juice laughed. "I am too good to lose!"

"You wish," Ten said, smacking him playfully as she passed him.

"I'm the perfect machine," he said with a smirk.

"You're a narcissist, that's what you are."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next time: the thrilling conclusion.


End file.
